Thoughts

I thought that everything about him has gone from my heart

Until I saw his picture and something hit me inside

I should have let him go

I should not feel like I am broken again

What kind of feeling is this?

I covered myself with silence

And darkness too

I tried to feel, not to think

What’s happening inside?

I traveled through all memories about you

I know that it has always been my fault

That it has always been me

I should not let this feeling grow bigger

Until today I feel like I have no more feeling,

but inside, deep, deep down, I still have it

I grabbed myself back to the reality

Then I prayed to God

And I stuttered in my prayer

All I could say was just ‘sorry…’

Again and again until I ended it

With an amen

21:30

(Agatha Elma Febiyaska)